I Accuse the Church and the State
God is not the truth- the Truth is god
Just Another Man
A Story of the Nazi Massacre of Kalavyrta
Bedtime Stories
Musings of a Cynic
- "A Routine Misdiagnosis"
Andy's Other Writings ...
An Excerpt From: "A Routine Misdiagnosis"
“You don’t say,” I says, and that’s when the receptionist calls my name.
I’m ushered into an office. “What’s up, doc?” I says. We shake hands. He grins like a regular guy. In so many words, I lay my whole story on the table.
“Vell, let’s take a goot look, okay? And if I vas you, I don’t listen to them big vigs. Zey are full uf it, you know,” he says.
As I’m taking off my shirt I says, “By George, Doc, you the first medic I visit that makes horse-sense, ifyouknowwhat’msayin’.”
He peeks through his cheaters. “Take it from a guy vho is in zis racket a long time. Vhat you got, my frient, it’s a case uf dermatitis,” he says as he’s scribbling a coupla prescriptions. “Go get zis cream. Apply ze stuff on ze spots in ze morning unt night. Ah, unt don’t forget to take ze antibiotic pill until zey all run out, okay?” he says.
“Doc, I gotta ask you something personal. That little cutie you dragged in, is she your own flesh and blood?” I says.
“Vhat you tink, ze milkman’s?” he says, blowing up his chest like a rooster.
“You quite a guy,” I says. “You could have my business if you move up north,” I says.
Outside, as I’m examining the prescription I tell my Kathy this: “Know something, baby? Whoever’s concocting this TAC 0.1 paste got to be making a bundle. Why, this stuff is more popular than Heinz ketchup.” Kathy and I keep evaluating my condition on our own, but we seem to be going around in circles.
“We’re like the blind turned loose inside a pitch-black tunnel,” I says.
“What about the cruises throughout the Middle East, Egypt, third-world places like that? You could have picked up some strange parasite, you know. As soon as we get back home I’m going to take you straight to Doctor H. I hear he’s deep into preventive medicine, holistic remedies, a totally different approach to Western medicine.”
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